They began dating several weeks later.
Michael was not particularly romantic in the conventional sense. He forgot anniversaries unless he entered them into his phone, disliked expensive restaurants, and had an irritating habit of leaving cabinet doors open.
But he was dependable.
If he said he would collect her from the train station, he arrived early. If he promised to repair something in their apartment, he did it, even when the repair required three trips to the hardware store.
Claire loved those qualities.
She sometimes wondered whether she loved them because they belonged to Michael or because they were the opposite of what she remembered about her father.
Their relationship was affectionate but not without difficulty.
Claire disliked uncertainty. When Michael changed plans unexpectedly, she became anxious and sometimes angry.
He initially interpreted her reactions as controlling.
It took several years for them to understand each other.
Once, after Michael forgot to tell her he would be working late, Claire spent two hours imagining a car accident.
When he finally arrived, she accused him of not caring.
Michael listened until she finished.
Then he said, “You can be angry that I didn’t call. But you can’t make me responsible for every person who ever disappointed you.”
Claire did not speak to him for nearly an hour.
Later, she apologized.
They learned to negotiate their differences with varying degrees of success.
By the time Michael proposed, they had been together for seven years.
Claire accepted because she loved him, because she trusted him, and because she had seen him behave with kindness when life was inconvenient.
She wanted a marriage built on ordinary reliability.
She wanted children who never had to wonder whether their father would come home.
When Michael asked whether she wanted to invite Thomas to the wedding, Claire said no.
He did not argue.
But several weeks later, he asked whether she had ever considered speaking to her father as an adult.
“I know what happened,” she said.
“I know you do.”
“Then why would I need to speak to him?”
Michael considered his answer.
“Because sometimes what happened and what someone meant by it aren’t exactly the same thing.”
Claire closed the wedding-planning spreadsheet.
“Are you defending him?”
“No. I’m asking whether you want to spend the rest of your life being angry at someone you haven’t spoken to since you were fourteen.”
She stood and left the room.
Michael followed her a few minutes later, but he did not apologize for asking.
That was one of the things she admired about him.
It was also one of the things she occasionally could not tolerate.
Chapter Six – The Envelope
At the wedding reception, Claire managed to forget her father’s appearance for almost two hours.
The ceremony was beautiful.
Michael cried when she walked down the aisle, something his younger brother later teased him about. Evelyn sat in the front pew wearing a pale blue dress, holding a handkerchief embroidered with Claire’s initials.
During the reception, Claire danced with her mother.
Evelyn held her carefully, mindful of the stiffness that remained in her left arm.
“You look happy,” Evelyn said.
“I am.”
“Good.”
They moved slowly beneath the warm lights of the reception hall.
Then Evelyn asked, “Was that your father outside the church?”
Claire stiffened.
“You saw him?”
“Only for a moment.”
“He wasn’t invited.”
“I know.”
Claire waited for her mother to say something else.
Instead, Evelyn looked past her toward the tables where guests were finishing dessert.
“He looks older,” she said.
Claire felt an unexpected irritation.
“Of course he does.”
Evelyn did not answer.
Later that evening, as the reception was drawing to a close, Hannah approached Claire with her coat.
“I still have the envelope,” she said quietly.
Claire looked at it.
She was tired. Her feet hurt. She had spent the entire day smiling for photographs, and she did not want to end it thinking about Thomas.
“Put it in my bag.”
Hannah did.
At eleven the following morning, Claire and Michael were packing for their honeymoon when Ruth called.
Claire nearly ignored the phone.
She was still angry with her aunt.
