She told Claire about his fear during her surgery, and how he had spent an entire night sitting beside her hospital bed because she became distressed whenever she woke and could not recognize the room.
She also described his avoidance, his poor financial decisions, and his tendency to promise more than he could deliver.
“He wasn’t a bad man,” Evelyn said eventually. “But he could be a very difficult husband.”
Claire almost smiled.
“That sounds familiar.”
Evelyn reached across the table.
“He loved you. I never doubted that.”
Claire looked at her.
“Then why did you let me?”
Evelyn had no satisfactory answer.
Chapter Ten – The Second Emergency
Thomas was discharged from the hospital ten days after his heart attack.
His cardiologist explained that he would need medication, cardiac rehabilitation, and substantial changes to his daily routine. The damage to his heart was serious, but his doctors believed he could recover enough to live independently.
Claire began visiting him once a week.
Their conversations were awkward.
They talked about the weather, his appointments, and Michael’s architecture work. Sometimes Thomas asked about Claire’s job as a high school English teacher.
He listened carefully when she described her students.
She discovered that he still disliked mushrooms, still repaired broken appliances rather than replacing them, and still kept a small notebook of household expenses.
He discovered that she had inherited Evelyn’s talent for organization and his habit of humming when concentrating.
Neither knew what to do with the similarities.
One afternoon, Claire brought him a photograph from her wedding.
It showed her and Michael standing outside the church.
Thomas held it for a long time.
“Thank you,” he said.
Claire looked at the small apartment around them.
“Why didn’t you ever get married again?”
Thomas considered the question.
“I dated a few people. Nothing lasted.”
“Because of Mom?”
“Not exactly.”
“Because of me?”
He shook his head.
“Because I wasn’t very good at letting people get close when I thought I might disappoint them.”
Claire studied him.
“That sounds lonely.”
“It was sometimes.”
She did not know how to respond.
Their relationship improved gradually, but it remained fragile.
Claire could enjoy an afternoon with him and still feel furious afterward when she remembered the years he had missed.
Thomas sometimes became overly apologetic, turning ordinary conversations into discussions of his regrets.
Once, Claire finally told him, “I don’t want every visit to be about what happened.”
He looked embarrassed.
“I’m sorry.”
She sighed.
“Dad.”
He stopped.
Then, unexpectedly, they both laughed.
It was the first time she had called him Dad without thinking about it.
Three months later, Thomas suffered another cardiac emergency.
This time, Claire received the call directly from the hospital.
She was teaching a class when the school secretary appeared at her door.
By the time Claire arrived, Thomas had been taken into a procedure to address a dangerous heart rhythm.
She waited with Ruth and Michael for nearly four hours.
The doctors eventually stabilized him, but the event raised serious concerns about his long-term health.
When Claire was allowed to see him, Thomas was exhausted.
She sat beside the bed.
“You scared me,” she said.
He managed a faint smile.
“I scared myself.”
Claire took his hand.
His fingers were rough, the nails trimmed short.
She remembered holding that same hand while crossing streets as a child.
“I haven’t finished being angry with you,” she said.
“I know.”
“And I don’t know how long it’ll take.”
“That’s all right.”
She looked at him.
“But I don’t want you to die thinking I never loved you.”
Thomas’s expression changed.
He turned his face toward the window, struggling to compose himself.
Claire waited.
When he finally looked back, his eyes were wet.
“I never thought you stopped,” he said.
She shook her head.
“You don’t get to assume that. You should have asked.”
He nodded.
“You’re right.”
She held his hand a little tighter.
For once, neither tried to explain the past.
Chapter Eleven – The Birthday
Thomas turned sixty-three the following spring.
Claire invited him to dinner.
It was the first time he had entered her home.
